How To Understand The Language Of Friendship
I have talked before about speaking the language of friendship. This is a strategy you can use in order to not to appear that you’re really in a rush for a relationship. You can use this to imply that you are satisfied with the friendship you already have. You can call it a spiritual friendship just to give the appearance that you’re cool with how things are. You may need to use this tactic to keep from adding any other stress to his life, because he may have enough on his plate or be going through a difficult time. Even though in your heart you care about him more, you don’t let it show at this time.
A lot of times it’s good to hold off and wait before expressing your feelings. Finding the right time and opportunity to do this is almost an art form, and it is usually a little scary for anyone. Having patience is an important key.
Now, what usually happens when a person cares for you, when you use the term friend or spiritual friend, they are the ones that will tell you that they care about you as more than a friend. This is a sneaky way of getting a person to express how they feel and make them confess to you that they want more. This works a little like reverse psychology, but it is a proven human reaction.
Often times the more clingy or available a person is, the less interest the other person feels. When you are somewhat aloof and not too transparent it causes you to become more compelling and interesting. It also generally increases your value in their life. The chase, the hunt, the conquest is an important human drive especially in men. Giving them the chance to pursue you allows you to see their real feelings for you and gives them a challenge. When you are already laid out and ready for them, whenever they need or want you, it doesn’t give them any chance to pursue you.
You can do this without being rude or playing unnecessary games. The best way is to strike a balance between being busy and available to them. You don’t want to be so busy that you never have time for them, but you don’t want to be so ready at their beck and call that you come off as too desperate or easy. Just because you aren’t sharing your feelings with them also doesn’t mean that you aren’t kind and friendly with them.
One of the best ways to have a spiritual friendship is not to come from a place of need and necessity, but to trust in the process of the universe and God. Fill your schedule with friend dates and time to work on your hobbies and personal goals. When the time is right things will fall into place as they were meant to, in an orderly and harmonious fashion—no need for you to push, force, or coerce a relationship into happening.